Nicaragua

Usually our lives change and we change in small, imperceptible ways every day. Usually. But sometimes we have GIGANTIC, HUGE, INCREDIBLE life-changing experiences that permanently impact the rest of our futures, whether for good or bad. I had an experience like that last week. For good.

I went to Nicaragua.

I WENT TO NICARAGUA!!!! Oh my goodness! It was a dream come true and the coolest thing I've ever done in my life! There are so many things I could say about my thoughts and experiences that I could probably start an entire new blog about it. I think we all know how good I would be at keeping up with that blog though ;) So for now I will share just a little bit.

One of my most favorite things about Nicaragua is how simple life is there. Even though many people are extremely impoverished, they are happy and content with the things they have. They are very grateful and humble when they receive things they need, but they have what they have and are happy with it. I just love that! How many times have I wanted something bigger, something better, something more beautiful? That is a very American mentality. It's not necessarily a wrong mentality, but it was so refreshing to be among people who are so happy with so little. It is an attitude I now am striving to make more present in my life.

Children on the street where we were building a house.

I met a very amazing woman named *Michelle on the trip. She's an American who has been to Nicaragua so many times. She's been there for the past three months, but she is working on traveling the world. She's trilingual and has lived in so many cool places and has done so many amazing things in just a short time (she's only 28), like teaching English to Buddhist Monks. How cool is that? Anyways, I decided early on in my trip that I want to be just like her. She's a great example. I had a wonderful conversation with her about how I can have amazing travel opportunities just like her. In a nutshell, her advice to me was this- Live Simply. Be okay with it and love it. Go with the flow. What amazing advice. I'm not quite sure if I can explain in words what this advice means to me and how I will apply it to my life, but I think it goes along with what I was saying earlier. Just be content with the things you have.

A wonderful girl I got to know. We're being photobombed.

I just love Nicaragua so much. It was everything I expected it to be, and much more. I wish I could go back and live there forever. I showed my family my pictures and told them about my trip for family home evening after I got back. At the end my dad asked me if I could figure out a way to share my testimony in a way that was related to my trip. I knew I could but wasn't sure what I was going to say. But when I opened my mouth to do so, I started crying a lot and couldn't stop. The Spirit was with me so strongly. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it meant, but I know several things for sure. I know that this opportunity was a marvelous gift from God. I believe it was a tithing blessing, because I would not have been able to go if a relative had not paid my way. I am so grateful for that. I also know that Heavenly Father has implanted a deep,firm love and passion within me for all things latin and latin american. I know it is from Him and that He has given this to me because it will be an important part of my future. I don't know why or how or when, but I am perfectly okay with that because I know everything is in the hands of my loving Father. I'm just grateful for these marvelous gifts He has given and continues to give me.

The wonderful couple for whom we built a house. I love them lots!

If I was old enough to adopt a child... She is SO precious!

I made so many new friends! I played with these kids several days around lunchtime.

Construction!

So... I swam in an extinct volcano... No big deal...

Giant cactus. Need I say more?

I am SO in love with the food there! Especially the rice and beans they eat with every meal! (Not pictured)

After singing at a church service.

Fresh bananas off the tree everyday!

Chinks In Your Armor

We had such a fabulous lesson in seminary this morning which had many, many valuable points and take-aways. One thing that really stood out to me was this idea: Satan wants to find and attack me through the chinks in my armor, so I must put on the full armor of God. Then I must continue to fortify my armor where it is weakest. I have never thought about things quite this way before. Maybe you have. It doesn't seem too different from the normal way of thinking. To me, phrase "chinks in your armor" stuck out like a giraffe in a herd of elephants. I began to ask myself, "Where are the chinks in my armor?"

I suppose it only makes sense to define the phrase. "Chinks in armor" means weak points, or places where it's easier for Satan to tempt you. These might be areas where you're not necessarily doing anything wrong, but you're not doing anything right. For example, perhaps you're kind to people, but you never go out of your way to serve them. That would be a victory for Satan because you would not be acting as an instrument of the Lord to further His work. Or maybe you pray when you need guidance, but you don't consistently say your morning and evening prayers. These are what I consider "chinks in armor".

When I pondered the chinks in my armor, I immediately thought of an area in my life where, if not careful, I could have a chink in my armor. As you probably know, I have decided that I will not have a boyfriend in high school. It is something I have prayed about a lot for a long time and I know this is what God knows is best for me. Lately, however, a guy I really like and I have begun to become really close. We've been texting and talking to each other a lot, innocent flirting, etc. Recently I've been contemplating the possibilities of becoming his girlfriend. However, in the back of my mind I know that I've already made a commitment to myself and my God that I will not date steadily in high school. These thoughts are the beginning of a chink in my armor. If I'm not careful, Satan could squeeze in and injure me through temptation and sin.

This lesson was very timely. The Lord does know what we need, always. He loves to bless us with counsel and guidance so that we can be successful in our sojourn here on Earth. This lesson in seminary helped me strengthen my spiritual "armor" by fortifying a chink. I'm so grateful for seminary and my inspired teacher.

I Can't Expect Perfection

I am a perfectionist to the extreme. Well, almost. I'm getting better about it. But I still get really upset sometimes when I mess up. It's a natural reaction. For example, this morning I overslept and missed seminary. At first I was really mad at myself. "Come on, Whitney! This is the third or fourth time this has happened this semester! What gives? You're better than this! Step it up! What will people think about you? What do you think about you?" Obviously, these are not productive thoughts. Actually, thoughts like these come from the adversary, who wants us to make us discouraged and miserable. When I realized how hard I was being on myself, I began thinking in a different manner. "This was just a silly mistake. It's alright. It's not fair to expect perfection from yourself because mortality makes it impossible for you to be perfect. You're doing the best you can and that is enough." Once I changed my thought patterns like this, my whole morning changed. I was happy and able to forgive and love myself.

I have been catching myself doing this quite often, lately. I'll make a mistake and begin to berate myself for it, then realize what I'm doing and be kind. It has been so eye-opening to me. It is liberating. When I make mistakes, whether it's in Spanish class or Orchestra, where it feels like everyone expects me to be perfect, or just in daily living, I can forgive myself because my Savior forgives me. If I am good enough for Him, I must be good enough for me. Choosing not to dwell on past mistakes and mishaps is changing my outlook and changing my life. It is wonderful. I'm so grateful for my Redeemer and the atonement He made which makes this possible. I know that all things are possible through Him, and through our Father in Heaven.

Medallion Moments

People really do notice the little things.

I received my Young Women's medallion in December. I was so excited!! I decided that I was going to wear it everyday because I loved how it made me feel. When wearing my medallion, I always knew my identity and my future, the temple. Having such a tangible reminder of my divine nature and worth helps me to feel close to my Father in Heaven and my Savior all the time. However, always wearing my medallion has blessed me in more ways than just that. In fact, it has blessed other people, too. 

It seems like EVERYBODY notices my medallion. All the time friends, teachers and random people comment on my necklace and ask me questions about it. The most common question being, "Is that the Disney World Castle?". (I find that hilarious, actually.) Being asked about my medallion invites a wonderful missionary moment to explain to that person about the temple. I am able to simply state, "Actually no. It's the temple." Most people know I'm LDS, but if they don't, it gives me the opportunity to share that with them as well. Depending on the person's interest level, I am able to explain varying amounts of information about the temple. I make sure that my love for the temple comes through the words I use. Then I'm sure to mention the temple that is currently being built in the state where we live, and how ecstatic I am for it to be completed. I have extended several invitations to people to tour the temple during its open house once it's completed, which invitations have been eagerly accepted by my friends. 

It's kind of mind-blowing to me how something so small as a necklace can have such a profound influence on me and those around me. I'm so grateful for the opportunities The Lord gives me to share His gospel. 

Take His Yoke Upon You

It's late at night, I'm stressed out, I have tons of stuff to do, and I really need sleep. So, naturally, I write a blog post.

God has so many blessings set aside for each of us, but many of them are dependent upon us asking for them. And we have to ask the right way. Here's an example from real life. Today.

I have an important audition tomorrow that I've been worrying about. I'm on the verge of feeling prepared for it, but I've been stressing. So, this morning I prayed about it. The prayer went something like this:

"Please bless me that I will do well on my audition. Please help me to be at peace and to be calm. Help me to reach my goal."

Eh, not bad. But not good. I did feel more at peace, but I didn't necessarily feel more confident. But I kept praying and humbling myself throughout the day. This evening, I realized how I needed to word things, and accordingly prayed a bit differently:

"I can't do this by myself. I need thy help. Please help my to play my absolute best, and to be able to happily accept whatever the results are."

And now I feel much better. I feel more at peace AND confident. This morning, while I was praying, it was really hard to let go of my fear and negative emotions. I knew that I had to consciously give them over to Christ. The phrase "Take My yoke upon you" kept coming to my mind. I knew that He could help make my burden light. That's what the atonement is about. It's not always about sin, but for everyday problems. It took me awhile, but I was able to give up my fear and stress. It really took effort, but I felt SO relieved and wonderful once I gave the negative emotions to the Lord.

That being said, I'm stressed again now. Guess I need to keep working on it. But, that's okay. I'm mortal, and I'm learning. And it is so wonderful that I can use the atonement all the time.