Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Deal With Dating After Sixteen

I have news! I have finally come to a wonderful decision! For a while now I've been slightly wavering on a topic we all know lots about: dating. It is common knowledge that we shouldn't date until we're sixteen, and that once we're sixteen we should only go on group dates. But after that, the standards are a bit ambiguous. Many youth date steadily, and it's perfectly accepted by society. But there are always the few in church who advise us not to have serious relationships in high school at all. And that is where I wavered.
That point in time is still in my future, and I've been thinking about it a lot for a long time. But several things have happened in the past week to help me make up my mind.
I went to EFY. We had a class about preparing for our missions, and in it the teacher told us just how difficult it is to prepare for a mission if one has broken the law of chastity, or even very physically intimate without going all the way. I knew at that moment that I didn't even want to put myself in a situation where it would be remotely easy for such an occurrence to happen.
A return missionary spoke in our ward yesterday and talked about how the purpose of dating and being in relationships is to prepare for marriage. That's the only reason! So what's the point in high school? I'm not getting married in high school, nor do I want to get married immediately out of high school! I'm still a kid!
And, the occurrence which helped me make up my mind the most: I had a long phone conversation with my friend last night. He's not a member. But he was having some girl problems and called for advice and comfort. In our conversation, I ended up sort of bearing my testimony to him of our dating standards. I told him that the problems he was facing was one of the reasons why my church advises us not to date until age sixteen. I also told him about the purpose of serious relationships. I am very emotional, and feel things very deeply, including romantic feelings. He knows this. I told him that being in a relationship would easily put in me in situations where I would be overwhelmed with feelings, and they'd distract me from all else. I'd justify skipping my practicing viola for hanging out with my boyfriend, which will NOT propel me in the direction I want for my future and career. After telling him all of this he said, "If you can make it through high school without dating someone, I will respect you more than I respect any person in this whole world. I already respect you a lot, but this will put you through the roof. I wish I never dated these past years of high school, and I think I'm going to try that this year." Him saying that to me helped me realize how much of an influence I can be when I testify of my standards.
So after these three things happened, I made a decision. I will not date steadily in high school. It's just not worth it. I won't be as close to my Heavenly Father, and doing so will get in the way of everything. It's the principle of Good, Better, Best. Waiting til age sixteen to date is good. Going on group dates for a while before being in a relationship in high school is better. But waiting to have serious relationships until after high school is best. I want the best. I know it will bless me. I know that my life will be that much better because of this choice I am making. I know I will have more success in my pursuits. Dating in college as a young adult will be so much better.  And future generations will be blessed because of my righteous example.

"It's the principle of Good, Better, Best."


  1. Finally - someone who shares my sentiments on the subject!! Well done, Whitney! It is a wonderful choice to make, and will bless you.

    1. Thank you both!! I'm so excited about the choice I made! And the more I think about it, and the more I explain it to my friends, the happier I become!

  2. so i was wondering is homecoming like a date? cause i figured it was and i would wait till i was 16 to go but i have who are barely 15 and going and they said it wasnt a date. I want to know before it happens to me and im stuck in a postion and i dont know what to do?

    1. Good question! Yeah, that's a toughie. Ultimately, you'll have to pray to Heavenly Father about it and decided for yourself with His help. Here's what the For Strength of Youth says, "A date is a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better". Personally, I think that homecoming is a date if you go with a boy and you are his date. If you just go with some friends and hang out, then I wouldn't consider it a date. Even if you dance with a few guys, or whatever, it still wouldn't be a date. Pairing off with one guy, however, would be a date.
      Do what you know Heavenly Father wants you to do. He will never lead you astray. As tempting as dating is before 16 (trust me, I completely understand how hard it is!), I PROMISE that it's way better to wait and follow the guidelines!
      Have an awesome time! Let me know how it goes!


I dare you to comment!