Hey everyone! I hope you are all doing completely awesomely, which, I'm sure you are!
So, I have seating auditions on Wednesday. Two days from now. And, accordingly, I've been practicing my butt off. But, I've been super nervous because I haven't felt ready. And my time for practice is slowly dwindling. As of earlier today, I did not AT ALL feel prepared. But now I do. The acquisition of that prepared feeling has a story. Because I like stories.
It starts this morning. In the morning, I planned to spend all evening practicing tonight. And that concludes the morning portion of the story. So I went about my day. Right before orchestra, last period, I found my best friend Kallie*, and we began to walk to class. But she seemed really sad. She wouldn't talk, and I couldn't get her to tell me what was wrong. I'd never seen her like that before. It was really scary for me because I didn't know how to react. All I knew was that my bestest friend ever was obviously going through deep emotional pain. It tore my heart. And I felt awful that I couldn't help because she wouldn't tell me what was going on. So, I never ended up finding out. We had orchestra, then we went home. I told her over and over that I loved her, and I texted her, and wrote on her facebook wall. I prayed that Heavenly Father would comfort her. But I was depressed. I was scared because I didn't know if, like, she got a text from her mom that her sister was in the hospital, or if her grandma died, or… I don't even know. But I was worried sick. And depressed.
So, I got home, and I tried to practice. I hacked away at my auditions cuts and solo piece for about an hour, but it was fruitful in only the sour fruits of frustration, self-anger, more depression, worry, and back pain. I felt miserable. Nothing was working. I was so scared for auditions and about Kallie.
After dinner, I texted Kallie again, and this time she told me that she felt all better. I was OVERJOYED! Relief flooded me. I felt awesome. It astonished me just how much worry left me when I knew she was okay.
So then, I practiced again. This time I prayed that Heavenly Father would help me with my practice. I was a little skeptical because I didn't know if He would help since I ask for things so much, but I decided that if I went ahead and prayed for that blessing, and had faith that He could and would, that He would. And my Father did.
Right after my prayer, I thought, "Hey, I need to rosin my bow." So I did. Then, I knew I needed slow metronome practice. So I set it up. Then, I knew just how slowly to start practicing. My practicing was beautifully smooth and practically perfect. I increased in ability a lot-fold. I don't know how much. Just a lot. I now feel a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot more confident for the chair test. AND I still have another day for practice. I've got this!
I'm so grateful for my Father in Heaven who loves me sooooo much. Today I learned that He loves blessing us, and doesn't get annoyed when we ask Him for things. He wants to bless me. And I love Him.
*Name has been changed
|Prayer is so powerful. It's our access to fortification from heaven.|