Why Driving in the Rain is Like Life

Hello again. I'm back from my unannounced blog hiatus. It was a needed break, but now I'm back to business. :)


I have found that the Lord uses our circumstances and the situations around us to teach us principles of the gospel. He did this for me last night.

It was a dark night, periodically lit by streaks of lightening in the sky. Sheets of torrential rain slammed down to the earth. My dad and I were making the hour and a half journey home from where we were, and I was driving- interstate driving. I have a long tradition of being terrified of driving, but even though my dad offered to take the wheel, I chose to drive because I knew he was tired. I also wanted to prove to myself that I could drive in the dark on the interstate in the middle of a thunderstorm. It was really nervewracking at times, even though I kept to around 55 mph. Other cars sped past and around me, spraying water in their midst. Our window shield wipers needed new blades, which made my vision of the road blurry. It was extremely difficult to see my lane lines, or anything else. My dad offered a prayer for our safety.

The Holy Ghost helped me realize that this experience was a lot like our mortal existence. During this time I wasn't terrified like I normally would be because I knew my dad was right there next to me. I knew he could take the wheel if I couldn't handle it anymore. The same is true in our lives. Heavenly Father lets us do hard things, but He never gives us challenges we're not able to stand.
My vision in this weather was extremely limited. Everything around me was black from the night and very blurry from the downpour. There was no way I could see where the road was going or what was on either side of me. The only way I stayed safe was by following my lane lines. Sometimes they were fairly lit up with the little glowy block things, but other times I had to reeeeeally strain my eyes to see the thin painted stripes. This symbolizes our need to follow Christ and His commandments. My lane lines were my only guide; had I chosen not to follow them I would've tumbled off the side of the highway or slammed into another car. Likewise, we are assured that when we follow Christ, we will be led safely through the torrential darkness of the world.
Occasionally there were points during our drive where I could literally see nothing because of the amount of rain, but then I'd briefly drive underneath a bridge. The lack of rain cleared my vision and gave me brief reprieve from the difficulty outside. To me, this represented the times in life when I've done all I can do and feel stretched to my capacity. It is in these moments that the Lord wraps me in His arms through the comfort of the Holy Ghost and lets me clearly see His love for me and my eternal potential.

In the end we reached our home in safety. I have a testimony that as we follow the Savior and rely on Heavenly Father that we will reach our destination- eternal life with God and our families- safely and joyously. I know that they love us and desire nothing less than our absolute happiness. It's up to us to utilize the abundant resources and blessings they've given us to accomplish this.

Driving Blessings

I am currently learning to drive. While this is something most teenagers enjoy, it terrifies me. Especially when I have certain drivers ed instructors. But we won't go into that. This process of learning to drive has been so scary. Every time I get on the road I'm super nervous and uptight, which doesn't help my driving at all. So naturally I prayed about it. But then, a few weeks ago, I had a really terrible experience driving with my instructor. I left the lesson crying. It was lame. So the night before my next drive, I asked my dad for a priesthood blessing. I really needed comfort and extra assurance. I recieved a beautiful blessing of comfort and peace. I truly felt God's love for me and my testimony of priesthood blessings grew a hundredfold. I was promised that my mind would be clear so that I would be able to learn to drive well, among other things. The next day my drive went wonderfully. I had a different instructor who was very good at teaching me in a way that was gentle and clear to understand. I truly felt the Lord's love for me while I was driving. It was such a blessing.

Then yesterday I had another drive. I had another completely different instructor. To make a long story short, the drive was almost as terrible and nerve wracking  as the one I mentioned first. But I could still feel the hand of the Lord calming me and guiding me. Even though I was still uptight and nervous, I wasn't terrified. And there were several points of time in that hour when I felt Heavenly Father directly speaking words of comfort to my mind. It was incredible. I feel so loved and blessed. 

Sometimes, I feel like God has way more blessings set aside for us than we actually recieve because some of them are dependent upon us asking for them, and sometimes we forget to do that. As I Iearned, Heavenly Father was more than willing and happy to bless me with comfort, the assurance assurance of safety and feeling His love for me, but I had to exercise the faith to ask for a priesthood blessing. I'm so grateful for our gracious, loving Father. I love the blessings He grants me and I love all that He is teaching me. 

We Need God When Life Is Sunny

"We need God just as much on sunny days as we do when it's raining." I'm not sure where I heard this quote, who said it, or if I even wrote it correctly, but I feel like it applies to my life in a big way. Like many, I am so very good at calling upon the Lord when I am in the midst of great trials or turbulent time of tumult. Some of the most sacred times of my life have also been the most difficult ones because they're the ones when I was closest to my God. After all, I needed Him then more than ever.

Or did I?

Actually, I need God with me in my life all the times, equally. There are no times when I need Him more or less, rather times  that need of Heavenly Father is less or more apparent to my imperfect eyes. For instance, when life is all fine and dandy, sometimes my scripture study grows lax and my prayers less intense. However, the moment something goes wrong, I'm quick to my knees. I think this pattern is typical in many people.

So guess what? It is super, super awesome that we pray when we need help!! Woohoo!!! Yeah! That's great! But we can take it to the next level! When life is peachy, have deep, meaningful conversations with Heavenly Father. He loves us so much and wants to hear from us! Talk to Him. Let Him know about how your day went, your triumphs, your mistakes, plans for tomorrow. When we pray like this we become closer to Heavenly Father and Satan has less power over us because we have the Holy Ghost more abundantly in our lives.

Alma 34: 18-27:

 "18 Yea, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save.

 19 Yea, humble yourselves, and continue in prayer unto him.

 20 Cry unto him when ye are in your fields, yea, over all your flocks.

 21 Cry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.

 22 Yea, cry unto him against the power of your enemies.

 23 Yea, cry unto him against the devil, who is an enemy to all righteousness.

 24 Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them.

 25 Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase.

 26 But this is not all; ye must pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.

 27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you."

I know that God answers our prayers, hears our prayers, and loves our prayers because He is our loving Father. Even though I'm still working on consistently praying with enough fervor when the going is good, I know that God blesses me most abundantly when I continually call upon Him.

 

Take His Yoke Upon You

It's late at night, I'm stressed out, I have tons of stuff to do, and I really need sleep. So, naturally, I write a blog post.

God has so many blessings set aside for each of us, but many of them are dependent upon us asking for them. And we have to ask the right way. Here's an example from real life. Today.

I have an important audition tomorrow that I've been worrying about. I'm on the verge of feeling prepared for it, but I've been stressing. So, this morning I prayed about it. The prayer went something like this:

"Please bless me that I will do well on my audition. Please help me to be at peace and to be calm. Help me to reach my goal."

Eh, not bad. But not good. I did feel more at peace, but I didn't necessarily feel more confident. But I kept praying and humbling myself throughout the day. This evening, I realized how I needed to word things, and accordingly prayed a bit differently:

"I can't do this by myself. I need thy help. Please help my to play my absolute best, and to be able to happily accept whatever the results are."

And now I feel much better. I feel more at peace AND confident. This morning, while I was praying, it was really hard to let go of my fear and negative emotions. I knew that I had to consciously give them over to Christ. The phrase "Take My yoke upon you" kept coming to my mind. I knew that He could help make my burden light. That's what the atonement is about. It's not always about sin, but for everyday problems. It took me awhile, but I was able to give up my fear and stress. It really took effort, but I felt SO relieved and wonderful once I gave the negative emotions to the Lord.

That being said, I'm stressed again now. Guess I need to keep working on it. But, that's okay. I'm mortal, and I'm learning. And it is so wonderful that I can use the atonement all the time.

Humble Happiness

A few days ago I woke up, as they say, on the wrong side of the bed. Something about me is that I make it a point in my life to be happy as much as I can, but that morning, I just couldn't be, no matter how hard I tried. So, I told myself that I couldn't get ready for school until I was happy. I said a prayer, telling Heavenly Father that I wanted to be happy, and that I was trying to be happy. I asked Him to help me be happy. But when I completed my prayer, I still wasn't happy. Frustrated, I immediately began praying again. This time I said, "I can't do this on my own. I really need thy help to be happy today.". All of a sudden, it was as if the negativity inside of me was swept away. It just kind of dissipated. Throughout the course of the day, several things went wrong, because of which, a couple people told me it just wasn't my day, but I was still genuinely happy nonetheless. This is because my happiness came not from my circumstances and surroundings, but from God, and my relationship with Him.

This experience reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures (which happens to be a Book of Mormon scripture mastery!), Ether 12:27-

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." 

Usually I think of this in term of "big weaknesses", habitual ones that take lots of time to correct. However, that day I realized that it can apply to "small weaknesses" as well. Because I went to the Lord in prayer and recognized that I couldn't be happy by myself that day, and that I could only do it through Him, He made that weak thing become strong for me that day.

I am going to try to apply this more often in my life. For example, you may recall that my favorite phrase is, "I can do hard things!". I am now amending it to say, "I can do hard things with God!". What can you do in your life through humility? It really is a power. 

*(By the way, finding "if/then" phrases in the scriptures is really cool. You'll see that I highlighted the scripture above in that way. These are conditional promises the Lord gives us. It's pretty cool to find them! I always mark them in my scriptures when I come across them! And they don't ALWAYS have the words if/then explicitly written, but the promises are still there.)  

 

"I Can Do Hard Things"

"I can do hard things" is by far my favorite phrase. Ever. I use it all the time, whether I'm trying to accomplish some herculean task or just get through an extra rough day. I have gotten into the habit of saying it aloud whenever something is tough, therefore, the people around me now know this phrase. I didn't think very much of it until one day a few weeks ago.

I was sitting in AP Music Theory with my good friend *Jenny. I respect Jenny soooo much. She is one of the best trumpet players in the state where we live. She juggles hard classes, music, and is an awesome swimmer. In addition, she is one of the nicest, most fun people I know. It would be an understatement to say that I look up to Jenny. So there we were in AP Theory, working on some homework, or something. Jenny leaned over to me and said, "Oh Whitney, I meant to tell you this a couple days ago. Last week I had a swim meet. I was really tired and wanted to give up while competing, but then your little phrase came to my mind that 'I can do hard things!'. That totally helped me keep going, and I'm going to use that as my little mantra from now on." As you can probably imagine, her telling me that made my life. It was so special to me that something I did helped Jenny, without me even trying.

Because Jenny told me that my phrase helped her, the phrase became more significant to me, and I began to use it more. A week or two later, I was having a really rough night. I was so frustrated with my lack of musical progress because of my injuries. So I turned to Jenny. Half an hour after I sent her a super long facebook message, she sent one back. That message contained the exact words I needed to hear. She encouraged me so much. And at the very end she said, "Oh, and Whitney, you can totally do hard things!".

You, too, can do hard things; this phrase does not only apply to Jenny and I! Perhaps you, or someone you know are going through an extra tricky challenge. Maybe you are working on some really intense New Year's Resolutions. And even still, you may just need a little burst of encouragement on those extra rough days. Let me tell you, "You can do hard things". This is because we are children of God. We cannot do hard things by ourselves. Of course we make the choice to persevere and hold fast until the end, but it is through God's power and because of His love that we can accomplish great things.

What can you accomplish with this knowledge? How can you grow and progress? Test the limits. Find out!

We Are Not Done Being Painted

Humility is something I have been working on for a long time. I think it is something that everyone strives towards during the course of their whole lives. To me, being humble means that I rely on the Lord and trust in Him rather than myself. It means that I refrain from judging others because I know that I am no better than they are and that we are all children of the same Heavenly Father traveling on this "metaphorical pathway" of life together.

Recently I've been working on not passing judgements about a few certain people in my life. I have been praying that God will help me be humble and to love them more. One night while praying about this, it occurred to me that one way I can become humble and love them more is to serve them. I'm really excited thinking about ways to do that.

Today, though, I had a really cool burst of knowledge. It was kind of like a ray from heaven shone down into my brain to illuminate my mind a little more than it had been before. I was sitting on the bus talking to my talented friend. She was bringing home a painting to work on for her painting class. It was obviously incomplete and difficult to make out the subject of the painting. However, I could tell that soon it would become a painting of an elephant. This friend of mine was mourning the fact that nobody could tell what her painting was of, and how they thought it was a bird instead of an elephant. I found myself saying, "That doesn't matter. It's not fair for them to judge it if it's not finished". That was when my epiphany happened. All of the sudden I saw that we, as human being on earth, are each a painting. We may not look like majestic "elephants" yet. Some people may not be able to see what we're trying to become or how all the pieces will come together to make us into masterpieces. But it's okay because it's not fair to judge something that isn't done. We are not "done" yet. We are still in the long process towards perfection, which goal will not happen until the Celestial Kingdom. Therefore, it doesn't even make sense to judge others because they are not done yet either.

This really helped me. I'm so grateful for this insight that the Lord granted me. I'm glad I was in tune with the Spirit so that the Lord could answer my prayers about humility in this unexpected, yet very cool way.

Receiving Answers to Prayers

I am so grateful for you, my diligent readers. When I get busy and have obvious difficulty keeping up my posts, I always seem to get feedback from you guys about my blog and that you love it. I appreciate that feedback more than you know. Sometimes your kind words are really what help me keep going! Of course I love, love, love blogging, but it's so difficult to stay on top of it sometimes! So, thank you. And, of course, thank you for reading my blog. Because of my sometimes-erratic posting habits, I don't know if I will ever obtain the amount of readership I would hope to have, but I love that you are my faithful readers. Gracias. Danke. Grazie. Merci. Thank you.

It seems as though posting about receiving answers to prayers is a common theme for me. But that's okay. Keeping with that theme, I have something really cool to tell you guys about! I've been learning something awesome!

Last week I had this really important singing test in AP Music Theory. (Basically we're given ten excerpts to prepare, then he chooses two random ones, give us a starting note, then we sing the whole thing for him.) He didn't give us much warning about the test, and I was really worrying about it. I worked as hard as I could on the excerpts when I had the time, but I was super busy with four-hour long Nutcracker rehearsals every night. The night before the test I spent two hours practicing the excerpts, but the next morning I still wasn't super confident that I would do well on the test. I said a prayer that the outcome of my test would match the effort I put into it. I was calm the rest of the morning and totally aced my test.

The same thing happened about a month ago at my first speech meet. I had spent hours, and hours writing, memorizing, and preparing my speech. But I was so nervous that I was going to have a memory lapse when I was presenting it in front of the judges. So, I prayed that the outcome of my meet would match the level of effort I put into preparation. That day I came in first place in the Novice category, and second place in Varsity. I felt so blessed.

Next time you need help from the Lord for something big that you've been working for, try asking Him to bless you with an outcome that matches the effort you put into it. I have been learning that it is important to be specific in our prayers. Often there are blessings set aside for us that God more than wants to grant to us, but our receiving them is conditional on if we ask for them or not. Of course, God's ways are higher than our ways, and if He doesn't answer our prayers the way we expect, that's okay. His plan for us is better than any plan we have for us. But He does love to make us happy and grant us blessings we want. So try it. See what happens!

How to Overcome Trials

I totally had something in mind about which I wanted to post, but I felt prompted to take today's post in a different direction. First, though, I want to pose two questions to you. What do you do when you have challenges and problems? and How does Heavenly Father help you through your challenges and problems? Think about these for a minute. Ponder. Search deep within your soul. Haha.

What did you find? Some things you like? Answers you didn't like? More questions?

I am going to answer these questions for you. As I have traveled down the metaphorical road that is life, I have come across many trials, as have you, I'm sure. I want to share how I deal with them. One can never have enough tactics to fight hardships.

When I have challenges and problems, I sometimes turn to my friends first. However, this doesn't usually prove very fruitful. As much as they love us, and as helpful as they can be, our friends are mere mortals. And while I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't let our friends help us through difficulty, I am suggesting that Heavenly Father is the best person to turn to. He, in His perfection and infinite love, cannot fail us. Turning to the Lord in the face of adversity, however, requires faith. We must trust that He will answer us, and that He will provide a way for us to understand His answer. This used to be very hard for me. I knew without a doubt that God would answer my prayers, but I didn't have faith that I would be able to comprehend or recognize the answers when they came. These doubts were from Satan. He doesn't want us to be close to our Heavenly Father. He doesn't want us to have the powerful help that God can grant us. Once I realized that because God loves us and is perfect, I knew He would provide a way for me to recognize and understand the answers He gives to my prayers.

So, what does Whitney do when she faces challenges and problems? She prays. She prays and prays and prays and prays. Often these are tearful prayers, seeking relief from negativity and frustration. After she is sure her prayers were with real intent and heartfelt, Whitney reads the scriptures. Just as praying is how we talk to God, the scriptures are how He answers us. Often, I find answers to my prayers within the scriptures. This happens when I pay close attention to the words I am reading, and apply them to whatever I'm struggling with. This takes work, and practice. I'm not always super great at it, but the Lord blesses us for our effort. I have found so many answers to prayers through reading the scriptures after praying about a specific problem.

Heavenly Father helps me through my challenges and problems through the Holy Ghost. Time and time again my prayers have been answered through this member of the Godhead. The Spirit answers my prayers in many ways including: warm feelings of love, promptings, specific thoughts and conclusions coming to my head, or a literal voice in my head telling me something. Every person feels the influence of the Holy Ghost in different ways. These are just some of the ways I feel it. One must practice and develop a knowledge of how the Spirit communicates with them. No two people are exactly alike in this regard. For example, here's a time when Heavenly Father helped me through something recently:

I have a friend who I love very, very much. He is one of the people I love most. He is like an older brother to me. This friend (let's call him Leo) has been super stressed out and upset for a long time. He has more on his plate than he can handle right now. Leo is worried about college applications, AP classes, college auditions for violin, his family, his work, etc. For as long as I can remember, Leo has shared feelings with me about not being happy and feeling like he is missing something in his life. I have been trying to share the gospel with him. I have invited him to meet with the missionaries, come to church, and more. He's not against it, but hasn't shown enthusiasm for the church. Many-a-night I would cry, and pray, and cry, and pray that the Lord would soften his heart. I fasted for him numerous times. I did ALL I could to share the gospel with this person I love so dearly. I want for Leo to have the happiness I have. One night when I was particularly upset about him and was praying about it, the thought came to my mind that Leo is God's son. Heavenly Father loves Leo just as much as He loves me, and that He will take care of Leo. I felt that I should trust that the Lord will let him partake in the gospel when the time is right, and that I can't take it upon myself to be solely responsible for that. With this thought came a simple feeling of peace and my worries left me. The thoughts, assurance, and peace were from the Holy Ghost.

I know that the Lord loves us and wants us to be happy. Just as He will take care of Leo, He will take care of each of us. He wants us to come to Him with our sadness, struggles, hardships, and also our joys and triumphs. I testify that He will answer your prayers.

Create the Moment

Hello again! Recognize me? Maybe not, because I haven't posted in about a month. Oops. Sorry about that. Instead of boring you with my excuses about being busy, I'll just get to my post. :D

Sometimes we pray for missionary opportunities. That is good. No, that is great. It's golden. The Lord blesses us with opportunities to share the gospel when we pray in faith to receive them, with a plan of action to act upon those moments when they arise. But do you know what else we can do? Instead of waiting for missionary opportunities to knock at our door, we can create them! Woah! Crazy, right? As obvious as that sounds, it didn't even occur to me until several weeks ago.

The missionaries came over to our house and taught a fabulous lesson. Afterwards they asked me if I wanted a pamphlet about the restoration to give to one of my friends. I accepted, and thought that I'd put it in my backpack for when someone I met asked about the church. Then, the name of a girl at my school came into my mind. Let's call her Jenny. Jenny and I didn't talk often, but she had expressed interest in the church in the past. When her name came into my mind, I realized it was a prompting to give her the pamphlet. So I texted her to ask if I could meet her before school because I had something I wanted to give her. We met the next morning and she graciously accepted the pamphlet and agreed to come to church with me in the future. A week later she told me that she had read the pamphlet and found it very informative.

This was cool for me to realize that I could be in charge of sharing the gospel more in my life. I learned that I didn't have to wait and could be even more proactive about sharing the gospel with those around me. I encourage all of you to try to create a missionary moment this week. It doesn't have to be forced, awkward, or weird. Pray for inspiration. Just see what happens! You'll love it!

Doubt Not. God Makes Priceless People.

It has been about two weeks since I posted last, which frankly, is unacceptable. So, I apologize! Life has been so hectic around here! It's fall break. Need I say more. :D

I would say that I am a very confident person. I'm definitely not perfect in that regard, but I do well. I know that I'm a daughter of God. I let that knowledge govern how I feel about myself. And I let it create confidence within me. But no person is perfect. Doubts creep into even the sturdiest soul on occasion.

Like a few nights ago. It was bad. It started out with me talking to one of my best friends. There's this really popular, good-looking guy in our school who really likes her, and she like him as well. I'm happy for them, but it just so happens that I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade. I'm not jealous, or anything, but I began reflecting on it. I wondered, "Why don't attractive, popular, older guys ever like me?" "Why do really popular people seem to not like talking to me ever?" "I'm a really cool person, what's wrong with this picture?" "I must not be beautiful enough." "I'm probably super boring." These negative thoughts seemingly came from nowhere, but each one came faster and with more force than the one before. Soon, I was sobbing. Deep down I knew that none of it was true, but I couldn't dispel the sudden self-doubt I was feeling on the surface. I knew I'm a daughter of God, and I knew that I'm beautiful. But I was so tossed about in the tempest of my negative thoughts that I felt like I could not securely grip and cling to those truths to keep me afloat. I prayed. And I cried. Prayed. Cried. Simultaneously. I read the Book of Mormon. And cried and prayed some more. I really felt like I needed to talk to someone, but I didn't know who. After a while, though, I decided to talk to my friend, Allison (name changed). She's one of my closest friends. We're in the same ward and go to the same school. Allison has a beautiful testimony of the gospel, and she is so good at applying it to her life. I knew that she would have comfort and insight for me.

I was not disappointed. After texting her to tell her how I felt she wrote me the longest text I've ever received. Here's a little bit of what she said. This stuff is golden, kids. It really is.

"Envy, which is often mistaken as jealousy, is a cruel trick on our minds. Do we actually care about worldly popularity? No. And you recognize that. Yet your mind has this control over you that makes you think that you care. This is all Satan [trying to mess you up]."

"No matter how you feel at the moment, there is Christ. Imagine how he felt! He was awesome! Seriously the coolest person ever! I mean, He was king of all nations, yet most of everyone hated Him. He knows what it's like to be left out and to see others prefer fakes over Him. Find comfort in the atonement."

"Society is fake and we all compare ourselves to something that isn't real. We admire what isn't there. We search for something that is lost. Comparison is the thief of joy. Never compare. You are better than this."

I love Allison. I immediately felt better after talking to her. I am so blessed to have her, and other friend like her, in my life. This isn't the first time that Allison has really helped me feel confident in myself when I've needed it. She has always been there for me, and always will be there for me. I'm so grateful to have her as a friend. And I'm so very, very grateful, more than I can fathom the words to describe, for my Father in Heaven. He is my Father. He created my soul. I am His creation. Next time you're down on yourself think about this- Would God create something ugly, bad, or inferior? The answer is an emphatic NO! Each of us is priceless. The greatest sacrifice in the history of mankind and beyond was made for each of us individually- the atonement of God's perfect Son, and our brother, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for their love and the relationship I have with them.

This is kind of a lame-quality photo, but this is a painting I did of me hugging my Savior. It was my 10-hour Personal Progress project for Faith. This really embodies the relationship I have with Christ. He always comforts me, and I'm grateful beyond words for Him and His sacrifice and love for me. In the painting, Christ is supporting me. He does this for me very literally.

Changing My Life

Bit by bit, recently, I've been realizing that God has a different plan for my life than I have for my life. At age ten, I knew exactly how I wanted the rest of my life to be. I had it down to a tee. In the years since then, I've moved bits and pieces of the elements of my plan around, but it has essentially stayed the same.

Over the past little while though, everything I knew to be in my future has been knocked over like bowling pins. My most cherished talent was ripped from my grasp before my very eyes, and thrown in the air- only to fall and shatter at my feet. Music. After visiting a new doctor I learned that it would be nearly impossible for me to put in the hours of practice I would need on my instrument to compete at a collegiate and professional level. I left that appointment not feeling too different about anything- still believing that I was an invincible musician. However, after a few days I began to realize the implications. I talked to my music teachers and coaches about my options. They didn't show much emotion and it seemed like they didn't really want to talk with me about it. Then, in orchestra class, my teacher gave a little lecture about music colleges, and it hit me that I'd never be going to my dream school. It sunk in to me that I'd never be able to compete. My predicament became real. This love I have, the goals I'd longed for all day, everyday- gone. The  days and nights spent in a beautiful place between reality and heaven, where I was myself in the music. The tears shed from the joy of music emanating from me, and tears of frustration from not playing well or not being able to play at all. The hours repeating etudes, scales, and solos. The competitions. Being part of prestigious orchestras. My quartet. All crumbling.

But through this whole process (which really has lasted years), I've grown so much closer to my Savior. Especially in these last few weeks. Over these days, I have really learned humility. After my realization, I knew I had to put my life in Heavenly Father's hands. It occurred to me that God has a plan for my life, and being the perfect being that He is, it is much better than any plan I could create for myself. I realized that what happens will happen whether I like it or not, and that I can either be upset about it, or just go with the flow. Heavenly Father loves me and will help me deal with any trials He gives me. This really taught me humility.

Once I understood all of this, I was able to let go, and trust in the Lord- mostly. However, I still had this need to know where my life was going. I wanted to know the plan. I wanted to be in charge. I wanted to know what to do with my life instead of music. And it really frustrated me, because I didn't know. I was afraid because I couldn't understand my future. The beautiful future which I'd worked hard for was an empty slate, and that scared me. I was annoyed and worried because I'd given my future to the Lord, but didn't know what to do with myself.

After a while, it occurred to me that just like Heavenly Father has a plan for my life which is better than any plan I could conceive, I don't have to know or understand that plan. I only have to walk in faith. This realization humbled me further, and I was able to relax.

A few days later, my seminary teacher was talking about the same thing. He told us a story about a friend whose life plan didn't work out, and he had to trust in the Lord. My teacher related this to a staircase. He said, "It's like the Lord asks you to walk up a flight of stairs and tells you He has wonderful things in store for you at the top. But it's dark and you can't see the steps. He shines a light on the first stair and asks you to take a step even though you can't see the rest of the staircase." I loved this analogy. It's perfect, and exactly what I had been dealing with.

Since I've humbled myself and begun to have more faith and trust in Heavenly Father, I've been blessed more than I can really realize. After I gave my life to the Lord, I began to have TONS of missionary opportunities! In one week I gave away a Book of Mormon, two For Strength of Youth pamphlets, and a Personal Progress book. I made four or five new friends, to each of whom I shared the gospel in some way or another. And, I successfully invited some friends to some church activities. It was amazing, and definitely not a coincidence!

I also began to learn about my future. Little by little. Line upon line. Precept on precept. Since that time, I have been closer to the Spirit, which has entitled me to more personal revelation. I was comforted. The Holy Ghost taught me things about life, and about myself. I studied my patriarchal blessing and received comfort and knowledge. And, during conference today, I received even more guidance for my life. I've gained so much understanding. Though each bit has been small, I have been receiving so much revelation and knowledge about life, trials, God's plan for me, humility, and the Holy Ghost. I've felt and understood with much more clarity the love Christ and Heavenly Father have for me.

Truly, the Lord loveth His children. He does watch over us and love us. Our trials bring us closer to Him if we let them. There is no way I can possibly express how much love I have felt and how much I have grown through all of this. It's miraculous. It really is. I have seen so many small, personal miracles through it all. I am closer to my Father than I ever have been during my earthly life. It is so beautiful.

If you are going through trials, which we all do, please take this from me- Heavenly Father loves you. This hardship is a blessing for you, because you can emerge from it a stronger, wiser person. Think of how much joy that will bring you and your Father in Heaven. Strive to have the Spirit with you. That is key. Look for opportunities of growth. Pour out your heart to your loving Father. He wants to hear it all. Humble yourself.

And don't forget- God didn't send you to earth to fail, but to succeed marvelously. If you need a booster for your day remember this- the prophets and apostles are praying for you. As are your leaders. God sends angels, both immortal and mortal, to watch over us.

Tender Blessings Because He Loves Us

Lately I have been struck by how the Lord brings to pass His work with timing and ways we don't understand, and by small and simple means. Of course one hears this all the time, but it's hard to really understand until one has experienced it.

For several years I have been dealing with injuries caused by my viola-playing. It's been off and on. I won't go into all the details, but suffice it to say that there has been not only a lot of pain, but a lot of heartache, confusion, fear, and frustration. Heartache from not being allowed to do what I love. Confusion and fear of not knowing how long-term injuries will affect my future viola career. And, frustration of not being able to participate in the orchestras, ensembles, pit orchestras, etc. Of course I have learned so incredibly much from this. More than I could even write in a book, probably. I've definitely grown a hundred-fold times closer to my wonderful Father in Heaven. Within the past few days, though, I have seen how merciful Heavenly Father is after the trial of our faith and how he answers prayers in different ways than we expect- and the outcome is always better for us, whether we realize it, or not.

This week has been a time of realizing it. Here's the story (in a nutshell, as I have been practicing how to keep things more concise and not ramble).

I have been to several doctors over the past few years. Some have been more helpful than others, but I haven't yet found a doctor with enough background in treating musicians to know how to diagnose and treat me. So after searching for doctors in vain, I did what all people do when looking for a doctor- emailed the symphony orchestra of my city. Professionals. Reeeeally awesome, famous professionals. After a week of not seeing a response, however, I began to lose hope. Maybe they were too busy. Maybe they never got my email. Maybe they don't care. But yesterday I got this email:

Dear Whitney,

I am very sorry to hear of your playing injury.  As a fellow musician, I know how frustrating and difficult to diagnose these types of problems can be.  

I will send your request onto the rest of the musicians to see if we can put you in touch with someone who may be able to help you.  The orchestra is currently on hiatus, but returns to work next week.  Once everyone is back I will do my best to gather any referrals I can and forward them to you.  Music is an important part of our lives, and it sounds like it is a big part of yours, so let's get you back onstage!

Thanks for you message and someone will be in touch soon.

Best,

My Name is Confidential Because This is Being Posted on the Internet

After I read this emails just came streaming in from musicians in the symphony. They were all very concerned for me. They gave me all the suggestions each of them could. They were all very genuinely concerned for me and wished me the best. One musician is even going to meet with me and personally help me. And I'm still getting more emails. I'm acquiring a wealth of knowledge of good doctors to go to, and other things to help me.

But it gets better! The musician who originally emailed me offered me a tour of the concert hall and to introduce me to the musicians and let me talk with them backstage after some of their concerts! How amazing is that? I feel so blessed! 

This was a way Heavenly Father showed His love for me. He answered my prayers through the small service of many people. And, I'm being blessed beyond what I could have imagined! How great is the goodness of our God. He loves His children. 

This is me and my viola, Sebastian. Yes. I named him. :)

 

Learn to Love it

Life is hard. Very hard. Good thing we have a loving Heavenly Father always watching over us! I've felt Him especially watching over me lately.

I had a really rough time last night. You know, the ones where you cry really hard, use up way too much kleenex, and end up with a headache. Not fun. I was upset about typical teenage problems. Friends, how my peers view me, school, etc.  (The joys of being a teen, right?) I prayed about it and talked to my parents about it. Then I got a blessing of comfort from my dad. But in the back of my mind the whole time I had the feeling that I needed to read the Book of Mormon. I hadn't had my daily scripture study yet. Usually I read the scriptures on my ipod (since my scriptures are at seminary), but I don't really like to read them from my ipod because they're difficult to mark that way. I decided I really wanted to dive into the scriptures. So after my blessing, I ran and grabbed a new Book of Mormon off the shelf and a dozen colored pens and highlighters. I read three chapters, and just went to town highlighting and underlining meaningful phrases and verses, and writing in the margins. I decided that this would be my copy of the Book of Mormon for seriously marking up. The chapters I read yesterday were the most meaningful I've read in a long time. Not only did I get more out of them because I was actively studying, but Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed to read to help me feel better and led me to those chapters.
After reading those amazing chapters, and truly feeling Heavenly Father speak to me through the scriptures, I felt so much better. Love, peace, and a feeling of home surrounded me. God answered my prayers through the scriptures. The concerns and questions I had were answered in the verses I read. How wonderful it is when that happens.
And it can happen everyday when we make our scripture study active. I'm guilty of passive scripture study sometimes. Life is busy, but we can't let that get in the way of our conduit of power, for that's what the scriptures are.
Instead of viewing scripture study as long, or boring, we can learn to love it. Learn to love the Book of Mormon. Learn to love it. Begin to look forward to your scripture study. Read with clear questions to be answered in mind. Learn to love it. The scriptures, and the Book of Mormon, will bring so many blessings into our lives. The more we invest in them, the more we'll get out of them. They are our truest source of power.

Your Call To Action!

This weekend was really challenging for me. Actually, Friday was, mostly. I had a really hard day of school. I felt really lonely. The worldliness of my school was really affecting the Spirit I was so used to feeling. Though it wasn't true, I felt like none of my friends actually loved me. I thought that if I were to disappear that no one would care.
Ewww. What a day.
During the course of that day, I prayed a lot. I mean, tons. You know how the scriptures talk about pouring out your heart to Heavenly Father? Well, I really poured out my heart to Him on Friday, more than I had in a long time. Afterwards I did feel a bit better, but the comfort I yearned for came gradually. I was expecting a huge wave of relief to wash over me while I cried out to God whilst kneeling on my bed, but it didn't happen that way. The comfort for which I longed came a little at a time over the weekend, mostly in ways I didn't expect.
First, my dad came to talk to me on Friday night. We talked, and I was able to vent about my problems and emotions to him. Then, my family watched a movie together, and I was at peace spending time with them. On Saturday, our ward went to the temple, which was a tremendous boost. Absolutely substantial! But on Sunday, doubts began to creep back into my mind, veeeery slowly. However, after church, out of the blue, one of the young women in my ward handed me a page-long note she'd written to me. She told me that she had felt inspired to write it for me, and that she hoped the words she wrote were the ones I needed to hear. It was beautiful. This young woman had, indeed, written exactly what I needed to read.
Then, last night and this afternoon, a really great young man from my stake was texting me. He simply told me that he thinks I am beautiful and told me that other young men in the stake think so as well, but that they're too shy to tell me. I hadn't asked him for compliments, nor was he trying to flirt with me. He was just being honest, but his words made a huge impact on me!  
Young men and young women alike- take note! Your words and actions have a TREMENDOUS effect on those around you! It's hard to understand what a wonderful ripple effect one can have on one another until you have been on the receiving end of such kind actions. It's truly beautiful. And the best part is, anyone can be that one- the one who makes a difference in someone's day, week, or life. You can. You really can! I challenge you to make a goal each day to do something, even something simple, to brighten someone's life. If each of us does one more good deed each day, what could we accomplish? How many lives would be blessed?
This is your call to action! What will you do with it?

Why is Life Hard?

In the past few months the question has come to my mind, "Why does the Lord make it hard for us to do the things He wants us to do?". During these months I have struggled with some injuries which make it impossible to play viola. I know that being a violist is one of my purposes in life. It will be my career and part of my future. I know that this is not only my will for me, but God's will for me. Why then, would I have injuries that make it impossible to practice? That's the only way I'll get to where I need to be! And as a matter of fact, this is the second injury I've had in the past three years which has forced me to stop playing for months at a time. Last week I found the answer to my unanswered query.
I actually knew the answer before I "understood the answer". I knew that the Lord gives us trials to increase our faith. We have hardships so that we have the added opportunity to call upon the Lord, and trust in Him and His timing. But it seemed impossible in my mind that I could progress in my musicianship without practicing. I already had a lot of faith. My predicament just didn't make sense.
At EFY we watched a video presentation where there were some apostles and prophets speaking over some clips of the bible videos (the ones that depict Christ's life). I was watching a clip of Mary, nine months pregnant, sitting on a donkey in the afternoon heat of a crowded, smelly street in Bethlehem. Being the mother of the Savior was one of her callings in life. Because of that, Heavenly Father could have made it so that she was in a comfortable, air-conditioned room with the best medical equipment around. But He didn't. He let her endure that tribulation so that she could learn of her capabilities and strength, acquire humility, and learn to further rely upon the Lord. Just like Mary, my affliction doesn't make sense. But in actuality, it does. My trials allow me to practice faith and gain humility. I am learning to put even more trust in the Lord. I have seen myself have more faith in His timing. It's truly beautiful.
I'm so grateful for the trials I have. I really am. Looking back on my past, the hardest times are the ones when I've been closest to the Lord, and they're the points in my life which I treasure the most. I'm so grateful that Father loves us enough to test us, and that He is always there during the rough and smooth patches alike.

"...nine months pregnant, sitting on a donkey in the afternoon heat of a crowded, smelly street in Bethlehem."

Content Once More

I have this awesome friend who has gone through some really difficult things in her life. She is a lovely person, who I love dearly. Lately, though, she has been very distant and unhappy. Though I've tried, I haven't been able to reach her and cheer her up. She wouldn't talk to me, or anybody about what was wrong, and I was really worried about her. Yesterday, however, she received her patriarchal blessing (are you sensing a theme in my posts of late? :D ). Right after which, she came to mutual. She arrived late because of that.  When she walked in, there was an almost-visible halo of happiness and light around her. She looked so beautiful and joyous. It was such an amazing thing to see her so happy after the many worrisome months of her distance and sadness. I feel so much peace now, after being so concerned about her- it's a beautiful thing!
I'm just so grateful for our loving Heavenly Father who loves my friend even more than I do! Even though she and I are very different, I love her very much and I'm so glad that she is content once more.

Strength from my Patriachal Blessing

Recently I have been struggling with some health difficulties and other struggles. In the past when trials of this propensity arrived at my door they engulfed me. I was totally taken over in despair and helplessness. I did learn and grow from them, and I used them to grow closer to my Heavenly Father, but it was a long, straining journey. This time, I have a new weapon in my belt- my patriarchal blessing. I cannot describe in words the immense comfort I have received and continue to receive from that beautiful blessing. It has given me the strength and knowledge to help me be patient through my time of affliction. Instead of being debilitated by fear and anxiety, I am able to be calm and happy, because I know that when I keep the commandments attached to the blessings I'm looking forward to in my blessing, all will be well.
It is amazing to me that the answers to the two big tribulations in my life right now are in my blessing, along with the blessings that can be mine when I do the things I'm asked to do. It's just so beautiful how it all works. Heavenly Father is so marvelous! He is perfect, and His plan is, too. Everything is really so spectacular, if you think about it!

Because I Kept a Scripture Journal

Today something really cool happened to me at church. I got to Sunday School with my friends and we were waiting around for our teacher to come. We technically don't have a teacher right now because our previous one was just released, so we were waiting for the sub. But a while passed and no one came. My friends asked me if I would teach the lesson. I agreed, even though I hadn't prepared anything. So, I pulled out my scripture journal. Inside of it, I take notes when people give talks, at firesides, during lessons, general conference, etc. I opened to a random page, skimmed it, and was able to teach from the notes I had taken on a talk given in sacrament meeting five months ago. There were scripture references, analogies, and impressions I had felt. I used my own thoughts, impressions, and knowledge as well to give the lesson fluidity. We referenced the scriptures several times and drew upon at least three stories from the scriptures. Our teacher finally came in with only twenty minutes left of the class and let me continue teaching.
This was a very cool moment for me. I felt the Spirit confirming that Heavenly Father was proud of me. And I'm proud of me, too. I'm happy that I was able to take notes and that I could teach by using the promptings of the Holy ghost. I felt the Spirit in my lesson. It was so special because I knew the things to say and teach, even though I had only a list of bullet points in front of me. I truly know that Lord is mindful of us and loves us dearly. He wants to bless us and He wants us to be happy.

This is a slightly goofy picture of me with my study journals. The middle two are completely full. The journal on the left is halfway full, but I got bored of using it. Haha. And the notebook on the far right is my current notebook.

Seriously though, study notebooks are the coolest things ever. You can record impressions you receive during scripture study, info from talks, etc.

Here's a typical page in mine. I use different arrows and indentations and bullet points to keep things organized. And, notes don't have to be perfect.

You can even glue in handouts from class.

Here's a page in a past study journal where I really wanted to learn a lot about faith. So I printed out some information about faith from True to the Faith and glued it in. Then, I methodically went through and looked up every scripture reference and even some of the footnote scriptures of those scriptures. I recorded other scriptures I found and impressions I received.

I ran out of room on that page, so I glued in a piece of paper to fold down. The writing is on the other side.

 If you don't already have a study notebook, you should consider keeping one. You can use it however you want. You don't have to keep yours like mine. Everyone is different. But I am always so grateful that I record this information and the sacred impressions I receive from the Holy Ghost while studying. And I know that the Lord blesses us with more spiritual experiences if we show Him we treasure the ones he gives us by writing them down.

If you want ideas for starting a scripture journal or have any questions, let me know!

They Will Hear the Gospel

Lately I feel like the focus around me has been missionary work. My leaders and teachers have been stressing this very important part of gospel living a lot recently. And, my dad was just called as ward mission leader, so it's brought up often. The missionaries come over a lot and it's great.
Today in young women's, our class had a lesson about the restoration and my teacher focused on how we can talk to our friends about the restoration and making sure we knew why it was so important and how a solid knowledge of the restoration can affect missionary moments. Being a member missionary is a huge part of my life. I absolutely love sharing the gospel with my friends. It brings me so much joy and happiness and complete bliss- I want my friends to have that as well. But, sitting in class today, I began to be very frustrated. I felt so sad because people outside of the church don't really realize what they don't have. They don't understand the joy, comfort, and blessings they aren't receiving.  It fills my soul with complete despair that these people- my brothers and sisters- don't have this in their lives right now and that they don't know what they are missing.
But then, whenever I begin to feel this way, the Lord comforts me. He lets me know that He loves His children and will provide for them in His own time. I had one such experience recently:

Our seminary teacher challenged us to ask our friends if they had any questions for us about the church. We were to record their questions and bring them to seminary so that we could learn to better answer them. I asked one friend in particular if she could ask me some questions. This friend is one of the people I love most dearly. She very religious herself, and has shown interest in understanding our religion. She thinks deeply and always has lots of questions about life. After being asked she told me that she'd give me a list of questions the next day.
And questions she gave me! I was expecting a few one or two-sentence questions. Instead, each of her questions were at least half a (typed) page long. She had obviously done her research because she quoted LDS scriptures such as the Doctrine and Covenants, and other books which contain words of the prophets. Using her doctrines, she used logic to try to prove why our religion must be incorrect.
I read through the questions, and with each sentence I read I became more and more sad. The Spirit instantly left me and it seemed as though each word I read slapped me in the face. I was so saddened by her words.
Later that night, however, she texted me. She told me that she didn't mean to offend me and how much she loved me. She bore her testimony of the truth she knows by saying that she was just looking out for me because eternity is a long time and Jesus is coming soon. It was at that moment that the Spirit whispered to me that she will eventually hear and accept the gospel. I felt the warmth of the Holy Ghost confirm his words. It was beautiful to me that I could receive confirmation that a friend I love so dearly will be able to obtain the joy I so cherish.