Morning Missionary

Last week, my Driver's Ed instructor told us a story about a time when he'd had a prompting from the Holy Ghost to go home instead of continuing to hang out with his friends, when he was in high school, which ended up letting him avoid a serious car accident that night. When telling us the story he said, "I just had this feeling, telling me to go home. I didn't know why. It was only 8:00. But the feeling kept coming, so despite the protests of my friends, I left. To this day, I still haven't figured out what that feeling was."

Cue secret agent missionary senses tingling. Of course I knew he had felt the Holy Ghost, and I really wanted to tell him about it, but I didn't know how. He was my driver ed instructor. I hardly knew him. So I put it off. The class is only two weeks, with the last day being today. But I kept thinking about it. Throughout the course, this instructor made more comments which totally made me want to share the gospel with him, such as his views about coffee and addictive substances. But I didn't know how, so I let it be.

Wednesday morning I woke up three hours before I had to, and I couldn't get back to sleep, no matter what I tried. Normally it's hard for me to get out of bed at the mandatory time, so this was unusual. So I just laid in bed and tried to doze. I thought I could maybe go work on finding information about the Holy Ghost to give to my teacher, but I dismissed the thought easily.

Yesterday morning, I woke up an hour and a half early. This time though, I had the distinct prompting that I needed to find some information for my teacher. So, I rolled out of bed and looked through the church's information online about the Holy Ghost, but couldn't seem to find any that seemed exactly right to give to my instructor. So I called it quits for the morning, deciding I'd ask my parents about it later, which never really happened yesterday. As I went to sleep last night, I pondered whether I'd be able to, or whether I should give anything to my teacher. As I was falling asleep, I listened to a talk by President Monson- it was about missionary work, and seemed directly aimed at me. (Here it is. This is a stellar talk. I love it so much.)

This morning, I woke up an hour and a half early once more. I complained in my head, knowing I needed sleep, but the thought came to me that this is my last day of Driver Ed, and last opportunity to share the gospel with my teacher. I really argued the prompting this time, for about ten minutes, almost to the point where I didn't get out of bed. But I eventually did. I didn't know what I would find for my teacher, if anything, but decided that if it was the Lord's will that He would take care of things. Plus, I pray all the time for opportunities for missionary work and to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I didn't want to miss this. Once I got on the computer, I found the exact information to give my teacher, a precious pearl from the "Gospel Topics" section of the church's website. I coupled that with a couple paragraphs of my own, and voila! I felt inspired as I wrote to explain the information to my instructor, and shared a personal experience with the Holy Ghost. I am so excited to give it to him.

I know the Holy Ghost leads us. He lead me to be a missionary this week. I am so grateful for the missionary opportunities I'm given, and so very glad I didn't let this one slip through my fingers. Each time I follow promptings, I show Heavenly Father that he can depend on me to help build His kingdom on the earth.

If you have read through to the end of this post, congratulations. You get a prize of my gratitude and appreciation for reading my words, plus you're probably an awesome, patient person, which will do you favors later in life.

You have ninja missionary skills. Have you found them?

Changing My Life

Bit by bit, recently, I've been realizing that God has a different plan for my life than I have for my life. At age ten, I knew exactly how I wanted the rest of my life to be. I had it down to a tee. In the years since then, I've moved bits and pieces of the elements of my plan around, but it has essentially stayed the same.

Over the past little while though, everything I knew to be in my future has been knocked over like bowling pins. My most cherished talent was ripped from my grasp before my very eyes, and thrown in the air- only to fall and shatter at my feet. Music. After visiting a new doctor I learned that it would be nearly impossible for me to put in the hours of practice I would need on my instrument to compete at a collegiate and professional level. I left that appointment not feeling too different about anything- still believing that I was an invincible musician. However, after a few days I began to realize the implications. I talked to my music teachers and coaches about my options. They didn't show much emotion and it seemed like they didn't really want to talk with me about it. Then, in orchestra class, my teacher gave a little lecture about music colleges, and it hit me that I'd never be going to my dream school. It sunk in to me that I'd never be able to compete. My predicament became real. This love I have, the goals I'd longed for all day, everyday- gone. The  days and nights spent in a beautiful place between reality and heaven, where I was myself in the music. The tears shed from the joy of music emanating from me, and tears of frustration from not playing well or not being able to play at all. The hours repeating etudes, scales, and solos. The competitions. Being part of prestigious orchestras. My quartet. All crumbling.

But through this whole process (which really has lasted years), I've grown so much closer to my Savior. Especially in these last few weeks. Over these days, I have really learned humility. After my realization, I knew I had to put my life in Heavenly Father's hands. It occurred to me that God has a plan for my life, and being the perfect being that He is, it is much better than any plan I could create for myself. I realized that what happens will happen whether I like it or not, and that I can either be upset about it, or just go with the flow. Heavenly Father loves me and will help me deal with any trials He gives me. This really taught me humility.

Once I understood all of this, I was able to let go, and trust in the Lord- mostly. However, I still had this need to know where my life was going. I wanted to know the plan. I wanted to be in charge. I wanted to know what to do with my life instead of music. And it really frustrated me, because I didn't know. I was afraid because I couldn't understand my future. The beautiful future which I'd worked hard for was an empty slate, and that scared me. I was annoyed and worried because I'd given my future to the Lord, but didn't know what to do with myself.

After a while, it occurred to me that just like Heavenly Father has a plan for my life which is better than any plan I could conceive, I don't have to know or understand that plan. I only have to walk in faith. This realization humbled me further, and I was able to relax.

A few days later, my seminary teacher was talking about the same thing. He told us a story about a friend whose life plan didn't work out, and he had to trust in the Lord. My teacher related this to a staircase. He said, "It's like the Lord asks you to walk up a flight of stairs and tells you He has wonderful things in store for you at the top. But it's dark and you can't see the steps. He shines a light on the first stair and asks you to take a step even though you can't see the rest of the staircase." I loved this analogy. It's perfect, and exactly what I had been dealing with.

Since I've humbled myself and begun to have more faith and trust in Heavenly Father, I've been blessed more than I can really realize. After I gave my life to the Lord, I began to have TONS of missionary opportunities! In one week I gave away a Book of Mormon, two For Strength of Youth pamphlets, and a Personal Progress book. I made four or five new friends, to each of whom I shared the gospel in some way or another. And, I successfully invited some friends to some church activities. It was amazing, and definitely not a coincidence!

I also began to learn about my future. Little by little. Line upon line. Precept on precept. Since that time, I have been closer to the Spirit, which has entitled me to more personal revelation. I was comforted. The Holy Ghost taught me things about life, and about myself. I studied my patriarchal blessing and received comfort and knowledge. And, during conference today, I received even more guidance for my life. I've gained so much understanding. Though each bit has been small, I have been receiving so much revelation and knowledge about life, trials, God's plan for me, humility, and the Holy Ghost. I've felt and understood with much more clarity the love Christ and Heavenly Father have for me.

Truly, the Lord loveth His children. He does watch over us and love us. Our trials bring us closer to Him if we let them. There is no way I can possibly express how much love I have felt and how much I have grown through all of this. It's miraculous. It really is. I have seen so many small, personal miracles through it all. I am closer to my Father than I ever have been during my earthly life. It is so beautiful.

If you are going through trials, which we all do, please take this from me- Heavenly Father loves you. This hardship is a blessing for you, because you can emerge from it a stronger, wiser person. Think of how much joy that will bring you and your Father in Heaven. Strive to have the Spirit with you. That is key. Look for opportunities of growth. Pour out your heart to your loving Father. He wants to hear it all. Humble yourself.

And don't forget- God didn't send you to earth to fail, but to succeed marvelously. If you need a booster for your day remember this- the prophets and apostles are praying for you. As are your leaders. God sends angels, both immortal and mortal, to watch over us.

My Brave Act

I did something pretty cool today. I'm proud of myself, because I stepped out of my comfort zone a little.

There's a girl who sits in front of me on the bus. She sits by herself and keeps to herself. She's silent. Today I decided that I would talk to her. I didn't want her to feel lonely or awkward sitting there. I asked her her name, found out she's a freshman, asked her how she's liking high school, what she likes to do, etc. This girl (let's call her Cynthia) gave short, shy answers, but we soon had a conversation going. After a while, the conversation died and we turned away from each other.

So I sat there, just thinking about the things a Whitney ponders, when I felt like she would love the Book of Mormon. I realized I had one in my backpack that I could give to her. But, I had just met her. I had no idea what her religious background was, what her parents would think, what she would think. I kept turning the idea over in my mind. I couldn't decide if this was a prompting from the Holy Ghost to give her a Book of Mormon, or if it was my crazy love of missionary work taking over my brain. I decided to pray about it and ask if I should give her the book. I searched my soul. I'm pretty sure the Holy Ghost was ever-so-gently prodding me to give it to her, but I wasn't positive. Then, I remembered something which an EFY counselor had told me, "Even if you aren't sure if something you feel is a prompting or not, if it's a good thing, act on it. Everything good comes from God". So, I grabbed the Book of Mormon from my backpack and started a conversation which went something like this:

Me: Hey, have you ever heard of a book called the Book of Mormon?

Cynthia: No. Is it cool?

Me: Yes. It's very cool. It's the coolest book in the world.

Cynthia: Oh yeah? What's it about?

Me: It's the religious text of the LDS, or Mormon, church. Mormons read this along with the Bible. They're Christians.

Cynthia: Oh. That's cool.

Me: Yeah, it is. I'm actually Mormon. (Pulling out BOM) Here's the book. I just felt like I needed to give it to you. I don't know why. I just felt like I should.

Cynthia: (Receiving book) Oh. Don't you need this?

Me: Oh, I have one!

Cynthia: Well, thank you.

Me: You're welcome. It talks about Jesus Christ, just like the Bible does.

Cynthia: Thank you.

Me: Yeah, no problem. I just felt like I needed to give it to you. Hey, here's my stop. Let's hang out sometime, okay?

Cynthia: Sure!

So that was that. I have no idea what will come of this, if anything. I hope she has questions, though. I hope she's curious about it, read it, and finds mormon.org. I hope she'll ask me her questions. But who knows? Maybe I only planted a seed. And that's okay. That's beautiful, too. Seeds grow into beautiful, useful things. One thing is for sure, though. Heavenly Father knows He can count on me more. I hope to have more opportunities like this. I feel so very blessed.

All Can Be Influenced

I don't really have time to write a post right now, but I just had to share this!!
About an hour ago I was walking out of an orchestra rehearsal, and a girl came up to me. We've spoken a few times, but never extensively. She is older than me and we never really hang out in the same circles. But she said, "Whitney, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are soooo pretty! Sorry, this is probably kinda an awkward time to say this. But seriously, every time I see you, I just think of how pretty you are, and I wanted to tell you that!" I thanked her and assured her that I didn't find it awkward.
What this girl didn't know was that the past few days I wasn't feeling like I was beautiful. The way girls do, sometimes. I immediately marveled that Heavenly Father sent someone who hardly knew me, who felt super awkward about it, to tell me I'm beautiful. I could tell she felt really strongly that she needed to tell me this because she quite obviously a bit uncomfortable, yet she did it anyway. This experience showed me that even people who don't have the gift of the Holy Ghost can still recieve impressions and act on them. It also reminded me of the infinite love and mindfulness our Heavenly Father has for us.