The Deal With Dating After Sixteen

I have news! I have finally come to a wonderful decision! For a while now I've been slightly wavering on a topic we all know lots about: dating. It is common knowledge that we shouldn't date until we're sixteen, and that once we're sixteen we should only go on group dates. But after that, the standards are a bit ambiguous. Many youth date steadily, and it's perfectly accepted by society. But there are always the few in church who advise us not to have serious relationships in high school at all. And that is where I wavered.
That point in time is still in my future, and I've been thinking about it a lot for a long time. But several things have happened in the past week to help me make up my mind.
I went to EFY. We had a class about preparing for our missions, and in it the teacher told us just how difficult it is to prepare for a mission if one has broken the law of chastity, or even very physically intimate without going all the way. I knew at that moment that I didn't even want to put myself in a situation where it would be remotely easy for such an occurrence to happen.
A return missionary spoke in our ward yesterday and talked about how the purpose of dating and being in relationships is to prepare for marriage. That's the only reason! So what's the point in high school? I'm not getting married in high school, nor do I want to get married immediately out of high school! I'm still a kid!
And, the occurrence which helped me make up my mind the most: I had a long phone conversation with my friend last night. He's not a member. But he was having some girl problems and called for advice and comfort. In our conversation, I ended up sort of bearing my testimony to him of our dating standards. I told him that the problems he was facing was one of the reasons why my church advises us not to date until age sixteen. I also told him about the purpose of serious relationships. I am very emotional, and feel things very deeply, including romantic feelings. He knows this. I told him that being in a relationship would easily put in me in situations where I would be overwhelmed with feelings, and they'd distract me from all else. I'd justify skipping my practicing viola for hanging out with my boyfriend, which will NOT propel me in the direction I want for my future and career. After telling him all of this he said, "If you can make it through high school without dating someone, I will respect you more than I respect any person in this whole world. I already respect you a lot, but this will put you through the roof. I wish I never dated these past years of high school, and I think I'm going to try that this year." Him saying that to me helped me realize how much of an influence I can be when I testify of my standards.
So after these three things happened, I made a decision. I will not date steadily in high school. It's just not worth it. I won't be as close to my Heavenly Father, and doing so will get in the way of everything. It's the principle of Good, Better, Best. Waiting til age sixteen to date is good. Going on group dates for a while before being in a relationship in high school is better. But waiting to have serious relationships until after high school is best. I want the best. I know it will bless me. I know that my life will be that much better because of this choice I am making. I know I will have more success in my pursuits. Dating in college as a young adult will be so much better.  And future generations will be blessed because of my righteous example.

"It's the principle of Good, Better, Best."

The Power of a Righteous Friend

Friends are awesome. I am blessed to have the best friends in the whole entire universe. (Though I'm sure all of you are pretty fantastic, yourselves.) My friends stick up for me, help me when I'm down, make me feel loved, and I always have a great time with them.
A few weeks ago I had an experience which really helped me realize the value of true, righteous friends. I was getting ready to go to a long rehearsal where there would be tons of people, it'd be really hot, and we were going to do a lot of standing around, waiting. I'd never truly been tempted to dress immodestly before, but all of a sudden I really wanted to wear a pair of immodest shorts. They were comfy, cool, and would just be so easy to wear. I began rationalizing all the reasons why I should wear them, but deep down I knew it was wrong.  Then, at thought came to me. Trevor* is going to be there tonight. I don't want to dress that way in front of Trevor. He would be so disappointed, and uncomfortable. Trevor, is one of my best friends in the world and one of the coolest young men I know. He is the standard of righteous living. Always going above what is asked of him, Trevor is one of everyone's favorite people- member and nonmember alike. With that in mind, I put on some modest shorts and went my way.
It was so amazing to me that Trevor was so righteous that he could influence me for good without even being with me at that moment. I am truly blessed to have him in my life. He is an amazing friend.
So my question is: Do you have friends like Trevor? Do your friends influence you for good? Of course not everyone you surround yourself with will be like him. You will have acquaintances and other friends who are in different places of their spiritual development.  Are you, like Trevor, influencing your friends for good? If not, what can you do to change?

"True friends influence those with whom they associate to “rise a little higher [and] be a little better.” You can help one another, particularly young men, prepare for and serve honorable missions. You can help one another remain morally clean. Your righteous influence and friendship can have an eternal effect not only on the lives of your associates but also on generations to come."
-Elaine S. Dalton, 2013

 

*Name has been changed

All Can Be Influenced

I don't really have time to write a post right now, but I just had to share this!!
About an hour ago I was walking out of an orchestra rehearsal, and a girl came up to me. We've spoken a few times, but never extensively. She is older than me and we never really hang out in the same circles. But she said, "Whitney, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are soooo pretty! Sorry, this is probably kinda an awkward time to say this. But seriously, every time I see you, I just think of how pretty you are, and I wanted to tell you that!" I thanked her and assured her that I didn't find it awkward.
What this girl didn't know was that the past few days I wasn't feeling like I was beautiful. The way girls do, sometimes. I immediately marveled that Heavenly Father sent someone who hardly knew me, who felt super awkward about it, to tell me I'm beautiful. I could tell she felt really strongly that she needed to tell me this because she quite obviously a bit uncomfortable, yet she did it anyway. This experience showed me that even people who don't have the gift of the Holy Ghost can still recieve impressions and act on them. It also reminded me of the infinite love and mindfulness our Heavenly Father has for us.

The Power of Music

Music has a very powerful influence on our lives. In Doctrine and Covenants 25:12, the Lord says:
12. For my soul delighteth in the song of the heart; yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me, and it shall be answered with a blessing upon their heads.
Music has the abilty to bring the Spirit into a room, or someone's heart. A song can be an answer to a prayer. A phrase may inspire someone to action, or may bring peace to someone's soul. All of this can, and will occur- with the right music.
For the Strength of Youth:
While much entertainment is good, some of it can lead you away from righteous living. Offensive material is often found in web sites, concerts, movies, music, videocassettes, DVDs, books, magazines, pictures, and other media. Satan uses such entertainment to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal and exciting. It can mislead you into thinking that everyone is doing things that are wrong.
Everyone knows it. Music gets stuck in your head. Period. :). This can be good or bad. What music gets stuck in your head? The music you choose to listen to is essential to the person you are, and the person you will become. 
So. How do you know what music you should listen to?  I've come up with some questions you can ask yourself before you buy a song:

1. How would you feel if your grandmother listened to it?
2. Is it free of bad words, sexual references, and violence?
3. How do you TRULY feel when you listen to it? Be honest with yourself, and listen to the Spirit.

Personally, most of the music I listen to is church music. I really love the music for youth that I can find and download from the church website. (I will put a link at the bottom of this post.) Right now, my favorite song is Hymn #124, Be Still My Soul. I love this hymn because it brings me peace every time I think about it or listen to it. When I hear this song, I am able to re-focus on what is important in my life, and I am able to relax.

As a musician, music is EXTREMELY important and influential in my life. I have recently started writing music, and it has been very exciting. At this time, I write church music, It is such a special feeling to know that you are creating something that can influence others for good. I love writing music, and I love playing music.

I know that music is very very very important. I know it can be a fantastic tool. And, I know that when I listen to wholesome music, my Heavenly Father is pleased. And that pleases me.  

Click here to check out the youth music library where you can listen to, and download church musci for teens. Did you know that some of this music was written by teens?

Click here to visit the interactive, online LDS Hymn Book.