Doubt Not. God Makes Priceless People.

It has been about two weeks since I posted last, which frankly, is unacceptable. So, I apologize! Life has been so hectic around here! It's fall break. Need I say more. :D

I would say that I am a very confident person. I'm definitely not perfect in that regard, but I do well. I know that I'm a daughter of God. I let that knowledge govern how I feel about myself. And I let it create confidence within me. But no person is perfect. Doubts creep into even the sturdiest soul on occasion.

Like a few nights ago. It was bad. It started out with me talking to one of my best friends. There's this really popular, good-looking guy in our school who really likes her, and she like him as well. I'm happy for them, but it just so happens that I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade. I'm not jealous, or anything, but I began reflecting on it. I wondered, "Why don't attractive, popular, older guys ever like me?" "Why do really popular people seem to not like talking to me ever?" "I'm a really cool person, what's wrong with this picture?" "I must not be beautiful enough." "I'm probably super boring." These negative thoughts seemingly came from nowhere, but each one came faster and with more force than the one before. Soon, I was sobbing. Deep down I knew that none of it was true, but I couldn't dispel the sudden self-doubt I was feeling on the surface. I knew I'm a daughter of God, and I knew that I'm beautiful. But I was so tossed about in the tempest of my negative thoughts that I felt like I could not securely grip and cling to those truths to keep me afloat. I prayed. And I cried. Prayed. Cried. Simultaneously. I read the Book of Mormon. And cried and prayed some more. I really felt like I needed to talk to someone, but I didn't know who. After a while, though, I decided to talk to my friend, Allison (name changed). She's one of my closest friends. We're in the same ward and go to the same school. Allison has a beautiful testimony of the gospel, and she is so good at applying it to her life. I knew that she would have comfort and insight for me.

I was not disappointed. After texting her to tell her how I felt she wrote me the longest text I've ever received. Here's a little bit of what she said. This stuff is golden, kids. It really is.

"Envy, which is often mistaken as jealousy, is a cruel trick on our minds. Do we actually care about worldly popularity? No. And you recognize that. Yet your mind has this control over you that makes you think that you care. This is all Satan [trying to mess you up]."

"No matter how you feel at the moment, there is Christ. Imagine how he felt! He was awesome! Seriously the coolest person ever! I mean, He was king of all nations, yet most of everyone hated Him. He knows what it's like to be left out and to see others prefer fakes over Him. Find comfort in the atonement."

"Society is fake and we all compare ourselves to something that isn't real. We admire what isn't there. We search for something that is lost. Comparison is the thief of joy. Never compare. You are better than this."

I love Allison. I immediately felt better after talking to her. I am so blessed to have her, and other friend like her, in my life. This isn't the first time that Allison has really helped me feel confident in myself when I've needed it. She has always been there for me, and always will be there for me. I'm so grateful to have her as a friend. And I'm so very, very grateful, more than I can fathom the words to describe, for my Father in Heaven. He is my Father. He created my soul. I am His creation. Next time you're down on yourself think about this- Would God create something ugly, bad, or inferior? The answer is an emphatic NO! Each of us is priceless. The greatest sacrifice in the history of mankind and beyond was made for each of us individually- the atonement of God's perfect Son, and our brother, Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for their love and the relationship I have with them.

This is kind of a lame-quality photo, but this is a painting I did of me hugging my Savior. It was my 10-hour Personal Progress project for Faith. This really embodies the relationship I have with Christ. He always comforts me, and I'm grateful beyond words for Him and His sacrifice and love for me. In the painting, Christ is supporting me. He does this for me very literally.

All Can Be Influenced

I don't really have time to write a post right now, but I just had to share this!!
About an hour ago I was walking out of an orchestra rehearsal, and a girl came up to me. We've spoken a few times, but never extensively. She is older than me and we never really hang out in the same circles. But she said, "Whitney, I just wanted to tell you that I think you are soooo pretty! Sorry, this is probably kinda an awkward time to say this. But seriously, every time I see you, I just think of how pretty you are, and I wanted to tell you that!" I thanked her and assured her that I didn't find it awkward.
What this girl didn't know was that the past few days I wasn't feeling like I was beautiful. The way girls do, sometimes. I immediately marveled that Heavenly Father sent someone who hardly knew me, who felt super awkward about it, to tell me I'm beautiful. I could tell she felt really strongly that she needed to tell me this because she quite obviously a bit uncomfortable, yet she did it anyway. This experience showed me that even people who don't have the gift of the Holy Ghost can still recieve impressions and act on them. It also reminded me of the infinite love and mindfulness our Heavenly Father has for us.

The Blessings of Trials

Lately, I've been feeling the most wonderful joy inside of me, for no apparent reason at all. Well, sort of. There hasn't been any big, extraordinary event in my life lately, and I still have struggles, but my life is just so happy.
I feel so overjoyed to be alive. I know that I have a special and divine purpose here on earth. I can feel that. I am starting to see my part in life and it's so exciting.
As you may know, this past winter, spring, and summer were really tough for me. They were the hardest months I've ever known. I went through many long, drawn out trials. I prayed over and over again for solace, healing, and peace. They were months filled with pain and desperation. Now, however, I'm seeing those trials come to a close and I am experiencing a very blessed reprieve. I feel so grateful to my Heavenly Father that He gave me the strength to come out on top. I am so blessed.
Looking in retrospect, I can see just how much those painfully, seemingly excruciating trials helped me grow. I can see how much my relationship with my Savior, Father in Heaven, and the Holy Ghost have grown. I have learned to pray with all of my might to my Heavenly Father. He listens, and loves me. I've realized how magnificent and marvelous Christ's atonement is for me. And, I've come to recognize the Holy Ghost's influence more precisely in my life. These are incredible gifts that help me every day.
For example, the past seven months I have worn a back brace. When I first got it, I was devastated. It looked so awful on me, and I felt so self conscious. Sometimes I didn't even want to leave the house. Plus, it was uncomfortable. I tried and I tried to accept it. I prayed continually that Father would grant me the power to see myself as He did, instead of just seeing how I looked. It took a long time, about six months, but finally I started being able to see myself as a beautiful daughter of God. This is one of the main things I learned from wearing my brace. I realized that it truly is not what's on the outside that counts. My identity is not what color my hair is, or how shirts may look on me, that is just an earthly shell. My identity is a noble, royal, elect daughter of God, saved through the ages for such a time as this. Finally, a few weeks ago, my doctor gave me permission to stop wearing the brace. I feel so incredibly liberated and exhilarated. I didn't realize how much of a blessing it is to be able to bend over, twist my torso, and stretch my back until I had a large, ugly, green piece of plastic wrapped around my body everyday.

This is kind of what my brace looked like, except it was forest green (it had a water droplet pattern), and the straps were a little different. But, the top went to a bit under my neck, the bottom went over my hips.

Also, ever since last fall, one of my dear friends has been suffering a devastating trial. It practically destroyed this wonderful person. It was so difficult to see my friend in so much anguish, and know that they wouldn't accept the Lord's help. I've been praying for this person everyday for a year, and fasting for them every single fast Sunday. Sometimes I even fasted for my friend on non-fast Sundays. But, about a week or to ago, I put this person's name on the temple prayer roll. I'd never done that for anyone before, but I knew it couldn't hurt. Almost immediately, I saw a change in this person. My friend's habits have begun to change for the better. I've seen this person begin to draw closer to the Lord. And my relationship with this friend has increased ever so much just in this short period of time. I'm so extremely grateful that the Lord is answering my prayer and helping my amazing friend. I have developed a testimony of the temple prayer roll. I'm so incredibly thankful for it. And I'm so very glad that my friend is beginning to be healed by the Savior's atonement.
This, my dear friends, is why I am so full of joy. I am just so wonderfully glad that I have such a loving and merciful God. My testimony has truly been strengthened through my trials, and there have been many. I'm so eternally grateful that I am the daughter of my Father in Heaven. I know for sure that there are great things in store for me. I know that He has a plan and purpose for me here on this earth.
If you are struggling, upset, angry, afflicted, depressed, grieving, or are in any other way facing trials, turn to the Lord. He holds the balm for your pain. I know this to be true with every fiber of my being. The Lord loves you. I know this. You are a precious child of a King.

Christ's arms are always open. He will carry you.

As You Really Are

Hey everybody! I know that I haven't posted in a super long time, and I apologize for that. I'm still trying to figure out how to juggle everything and balance my schedule with the new school year.

I found a video recently that really impacted me and brought a huge smile to my face.

I really loved hearing what young men actually think of us young women. (Sorry guys, this post is more for the Young Women, but you are welcome to still finish reading to the end since you've read this far already. :D) Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to look cute and seem perfect to them, but I think that they for the most part don't see all of the imperfections that we see in ourselves. Young Men see the beauty in us, and they see our potential for good. You are more than you know. :D

And All His Creations of Which I'm a Part

Today in my biology class we were talking about the diversity of the creatures and species on the earth. My teacher told us that only 20-30% of all the types organisms that have ever existed on this earth are currently alive. Just think about that! There are more species in existence currently than scientists could even begin to discover. Now think of the other 70-80% of creatures that we've never even heard of because they're extinct! That's a lot of animals! And then there are tons of plants too! There is so much life and beauty on this earth! As my teacher kept talking, my mind marveled over the vastness of it all! And then I remembered that Heavenly Father made all of these beautiful things for our joy and happiness. He did it for us because we are worth so much to Him! God created these wonderful creatures,organisms, plants, natural phenomenons, rainbows, scenic valleys, majestic mountains, breathtaking jungles, and so much more because He loves us!
As I sat in class, the implications of all of Heavenly Father's masterpieces hit me. He has made worlds without end. If there is so much on our earth, there's that much more on each other world He has created. And we can inherit all of His wonderful gifts for us if we keep His commandments and keep our covenants.
The Spirit was with me so strongly as I pondered over all the works of the Lord's hands in my class. I almost started crying. I truly felt of God's love for me.
Here are some images for your viewing. If you so desire, you can ponder of God's wonderful, perfect, glorious goodness while you see pictures of some of the things His holy hands have made. (pictures courtesy of lds.org.)

The Outward Appearance

We've all heard the saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover." But we're all guilty of doing that sometimes, well at least if you're like me. I'm nowhere near perfect at that. But, I try not to, of course.

This video really made me think twice about judging people by how they look. Appearance isn't everything.A lot of times our appearance reflects hardships we've faced or are currently facing. For me, that would be my back brace, amidst others. I know I wouldn't want anyone to think badly of me just because I have a brace. Or because the can't see the actual brace (It's under my clothes.) think that I look funny. Other people have scars from traumatic accidents, surgeries, illnesses, etc. But that doesn't reflect the person inside.

Here is a video of just that. The judges and everyone in the audience judged this boy before he had even said anything, unfortunately myself included.  But then, we were all in for a big surprise.

(If you have trouble viewing it from here, click right here.)

There is more to every person than you can see just by looking at them. Everyone has a story. Everyone is fighting a hard battle, but you can't see that from the outside. And everyone has inner beauty and awesomeness! But most importantly, God can see the strength and royalty in everyone. He doesn't judge people based on the way they look. 

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord ^aseeth not as ^bman seeth; for man looketh on the outward ^cappearance, but the ^dLord looketh on the ^eheart."

 

Everyone has inner awesomeness. And I've decided today that I'm going to strive harder to find it in everyone.

What Guys Want Girls to Know

This is a video I found by a group called Blimey Cow. They are not Mormons, but they are Christians. I really love this video. It's so great to know that some guys still care about decency, modesty, and chivalry.  He speaks the truth! And it's also good to know that LDS people aren't the only ones who care about this stuff!

What Guys Want Girls to Know

What do you think of this video?  Comment or share! (Oh, and BTW, I've added a facebook comment feature at the bottom of my blog if you would like to comment there.) :D

No Ordinary Beings

We all have those times when we doubt ourselves. I have them, you have them. I love this talk by President Uchtodrf. He explains in such powerful words just how powerful and loved we are.He says (at 2:55) "You are no ordinary beings. You are glorious and eternal." How true this is. Here are excerpts from his talk, with beautiful music in the background.

Next time you look into the mirror, I challenge you to look past your hair, clothes, acne, weight, height. Know that all of these imperfections are the mark of mortality. These are not permanent! When you look into the mirror, try to see yourself how your Father in Heaven sees you; He sees the divine beauty, power, and potential you have.

Doctrine and Covenants 18:10:  "Remember the ^aworth of ^bsouls is great in the sight of God"

I know that Heavenly Father loves me. And I can feel my innate beauty and divinity when I pray, adn especially when I'm in the temple. I know that you can too.

This is such a beautiful, inspiring and empowering video. I really hope you watch it!